Thankfulness

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you.  Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:12-18

I know it's been awhile since my last blog but I thought what perfect month to add to my blog since November is the month for thankfulness!  I was reading my bible today when I came across 1 Thessalonians 5:12-18. I read each part and thought if I have applied it or how can I apply it to my life.

When I think about someone who works hard, my husband come in my mind.  I am amazed on how hard he works to provide for our family and comes home to our circus of kids & mess.  I do hold my husband up high but it's taken us awhile to get here. I was so independent and used to taking care of myself and being the main bread winner it has been a slow process to let my husband take the upper hand. To totally rely on another human seemed impossible. When my husband lost his job believe it or not our relationship grew stronger. He was part of a men's fraternity bible study group that made our relationship change and improve for the better. He didn't tell me anything he learned he wanted to show me through his actions and words. Wow, what a change in him and even though he had no job I relied on him for many things.  So when I had resign from my job for the better of my family I learned to FULLY rely on him. I have fully relied on God but how can you w/another person? Boy, was it hard for me but I have learned and I appreciate my hardworking husband. He is trully the head of our household and is a strong man of God!

So first I am thankful for:

1. My loving, reliable, faithful, hardworking husband that I have known for over 14 years, been together for 11 years and married for almost 9 years!

Than we come to the 2nd part of the verses to ..live in peace.  I know my household is full of peace. My family does not let any situation get the best of us. There is negativity on the outskirts of our family but We stand strong together, Dad/mom and our three boys!

2. I am thankful for the peace in my household. Yes there is still chaos, lots of crying, some yelling but God and his love has been our center and for that we have peace. No weapon formed against us shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17)

It then goes on to say ....be patient with everyone. Hmmmmmm...Does that mean to stop my road rage? Haahaaa! When this come to my mind I actually think of my children. Do I even have enough patience for them? When patience is on empty with me this is when I seek God  the most. Sometimes I sing that song by the Shirelles "Momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this momma said" It makes me smile. God gives me strength first because my kids are still alive! hahaa! Also because they are still my greatest joy and God reminds me of this. Those giggles, those smiles, those hugs and those dance moves....all joy! So I continue to work on patience with my children and others.

3. I am thankful for my children:

    Benjamin: I am thankful for you. I would be lost without you. You melt my heart everyday. I love how you love God, your family but most of all your brothers. I do rely on you sometimes as a big brother and I am sorry when you see me lose my patience but glad we can talk about it after and learn from our mistakes. Your imagination is so amazing and you are awesome reader. Thank you for blessing my life my Benjamin!

   Caleb: My little Caleb, when you smile you melt my heart. You are so cautious and learn from most of your mistakes and if you haven't you will soon! Thank you for sleeping so well and not being such a light sleeper like your other twin. When you cry my heart hurts because you are so sensitive like Benjamin! I love to see you play and explore! Watching you dance makes me happy. I love you my sweet blessing Caleb!

  Levi: Loving Levi you love to be with your mom and have a hard time sharing me. I love to watch you get excited to see Elmo. I love when you say "whatssssthat?" or "wheresssscerissa?" You love to talk and laugh! You bring me joy even when you refuse to sleep or wake up so quick when big brother goes to bed. You are my loving Levi, you are mommy's boy!

Last it says,
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 I would like to rejoice and give thanks for God allowing me to complete my first 5K. Yes it is a little late to blog about it since it was way back in September but God was my source of strength. You see this was the biggest accomplishment I have made for myself ever or maybe since I had my kids. I made it and I didn't come in last. I immediately hugged my husband and we cried together. He was so proud of me and I was proud of myself. REJOICE because God made a way for me!

So Last but not least:
I am thankful for my faithful God!
We probably can't thank him enough but I like to take time to write some thankfulness I feel towards God.
God, Thank you for allowing me to live and have a blessed life. I may not be full of riches but you have enriched my life in so many non-material ways. Thank you for showing me not to full of anger or bitterness but full of peace, love and joy. Thank you for showing me how to be content with what I have and not long for all the riches in the world. Thank you for loving me unconditionally for knowing my heart and although my words don't give my heart enough credit at times you know me. You know when I am happy or discouraged. You given me a great man and three little boys that will be great men one day. You love me! When I think about that my heart is overjoyed, humbled and filled with emotion. I am so gracious. I just wanted to share apart of a song of praise:
Down at Your feet Oh Lord
Is the most high place
In Your presence Lord
We seek Your face
We seek Your face
There is no higher calling
No greater honor
Than to bow and kneel before Your throne
I'm amazed at Your glory
Embraced by Your mercy
O Lord, I live to worship You

Benjamin's first week of Kindergarten

Benjamin's first week of school is over! Woohoo! No school work on Friday! Why? Because we are homeschooling via CAVA. California Virtual Academy is a public school via online. We were able to accomplish 5 days of work in 4 days which leaves us free for some fun time! 

This week we completed Math, Phonics, Handwriting w/out tears, Language Arts, Art, Music, Science, Social Studies and fun learning games on Study Island.  In Math we learned about shapes, colors and matching. In Language Arts we learned the sounds at the beginning of words and end, read Cinderella, the Frog prince and had practice worksheets. In Art we learned about self portraits and how in the old days they painted pictures because there were no cameras.  Music we learned how our voices go High and low, how to move to songs and beats! It was fun to dance around! We also got our spider puppet out and told the Eeensy Weensy spider story and sang the song. The twins enjoyed that! Science was fun as we had a scavenger hunt using our flash lights and used magnifying glasses to exam our items from our hunt. We learned about our 5 senses and that Scientist observe using their senses. Social Studies taught us about the Pledge of Allegiance and how it's a promise to our country. Study Island is fun games kids can do to learn.   All this for a Kindergartner's first week!!!

It was amazing and definitely demanding for me. It is hard to get things done while the boys are up so we use most of their nap time to do our work. Benjamin also reads in his room as part of school work away from us so he has a chance to concentrate without distractions! Yes my Benjamin can Read!!!  He loves to sound out words and cracks me up sometimes. Just the other day we were reading a book that said "children" well he said it said "chicken" It was so funny but he is getting the concept of sounding out the words. The first part was correct!

So many of you are probably thinking..........She is crazy! Homeschooling? Why? That's so weird! He will not get any socialization! She is going to have weird kids or does she think she is better than the rest of us?  Maybe your thinking other things.....I don't know but my mind is set on my children.

My family is my heart. My children are my joy. Do I want to spend every moment with them all the time....Nooooooooooooo! I have my moments and my life is not so blissful at times! I have two walking babies following me everywhere that love to be outside so how dare I open the door to water my plants and leave the poor little crying faces inside as they watch me from the window. How dare I yell at Benjamin after telling him 10 times to pick up toys!  So NO I am not in la-la land but in reality and thinking about my family.

I never in my rightful mind thought I would homeschool and I was unsure for awhile. My husband and I prayed about it. I never thought he would be for it.  But here we are homeschooling...well you know virtual public school via online. They have field trips, meeting days, park days and parties. Lots of other things too.

With all that said we chose to homeschool because we can! I don't mean to offend anyone or do assume I am better because I am not. This is what works for us right in this moment and God only knows what the future holds.  It's my conviction that God gave me my children to nurture them. Like a flower trying to bloom. Too much sun or water may kill it. Things like cats or dogs may hurt it, but the foundation it sits on will be the same. And with the right amount of nourishment, love and water it will bloom beautifully! No I am not trying to make a bubble boy but this is a choice and this is what we chose. Benjamin is active in sports, church activities and anything else we can get him involved in.  He has friends, neighbors and family! He is not locked up in a chamber w/books!

With that said, I am not going into detail on why we chose this because I don't want to offend anybody. This is our choice and because I am a stay at home mom, I am able to do this. And do it well....I might add!

So if you were wondering why I didn't post a picture of my amazing son going to kindergarten it's because we homeschool! We have class at the table and he even has his own computer and desk(computer/printer, curriculum provided by CAVA) My jog/walk and Ben's bike ride is his PE, lunch w/his brothers and what better than getting to spend lots of one on one time w/mom right? 

Here is a poem and interesting facts! Have a great day and many blessings friends and family!

Here is a Homeschooling Poem:

You, who teach your kids,

alone at home,

you must be crazy!

You must, work twice as hard.

Your children need you.

You can’t be lazy!

Teach, your children well.

Most lessons aren’t, self-explanatory.

Some things, they learn alone,

but preparation, is mandatory.

Don't assume they know the “whys.”

If they told you, you would cry,

and then shake your head and sigh,

because you love them.

And you, of tender years,

don’t know as much,

as you think that you do.

And so please, listen carefully.

Your parent’s words,

Are not just voodoo.

Learn, your lessons well.

School isn’t hell,

that just slowly goes by.

So tell, your folks your dreams.

They’ll help you learn,

how to achieve them.

Kids can’t learn it all themselves.

Mom and dad must teach them well.

So buy your teacher’s guide and sigh,

because you love them.

Life has changed...for better or worse.....def. all for the better!

I decided to start a blog today. Feeling uplifted in so many ways so this is my new beginning after conquering a year of raising twins and a preschooler! Yes it's been a year since my twins changed my life. God has given me the strength through it all. And I mean through it all through my anger, laughter, chaos, happiness, madness, joy through all my feelings and thoughts Jesus has carried me through! 

When I found out I was pregnant with twins I was all alone. Two ultrasound techs kept checking me and neither one said a thing to me except that I was okay.  Having an ultrasound for two hours is not pleasant because there are different ways to have ultrasound for pregnancy if you catch my drift. Finally they told me that I was pregnant with twins and I was in shock. My husband was with my son in the waiting room at the hospital. We had thought we could take our son but we couldn't so I went in solo. No words described my feelings but I laid there praying that everything was okay and things were more than okay it was twins! How was I going to tell my husband. I was lucky enough to talk him into letting me try for my little girl! The ultrasound tech saw how shocked and emotional I was and ask if I wanted her to go with me to tell my husband. I said yes knowing that since I am prankster and knew he wouldn't believe me. I told him as I cried and he looked at the technician for confirmation and she said yes. He had tears in his eyes and we both started to laugh. Laughing stops us from crying and laughing because it was so crazy!!!

Through a tough pregnancy full of bed rest, vomiting everyday up until they day after they were born and so much more we made it. Since I had a little girl named picked out but no boys names my husband got to name them. Don't get me wrong when I found out they were identical twins I was happy they were boys. No way in my right mind did I was two twin girls. I was happy with my boys although I still want my ONE little girl. My husband loved the name Caleb and Levi so I went with it....eventually. Their middle names are for our grandfathers that were a big part of our lives. Lorenzo for Rob's grandfather and John for my grandpa that was like a dad to me.

So here is the story of after they were born................

A year ago today I gave birth to my twins. I was 36 weeks, my blood pressure was all over the place and just to think I was just going to the hospital to do my usual stress test. I dropped off Benjamin at preschool and next thing you know Dr wants to do my c-section that day, July 6, 2010. My mom was so nervous, she thought I was going to die but I knew I was okay. God had taken care of me and my babies thus far.

I was very upset though and the nurses were so awesome. They comforted me when no one was there, after all I was a regular having going there twice a week. I wasn't scared, maybe a little bit and a bit overwhelmed but my heart broke thinking about not seeing my Benjamin for a couple days. He had only stayed away from us for one night prior. We were blessed with my sister in law Ruth and my brother Chris taking charge of Ben. They kept him for 4 nights, 5 day as if he was their son. Although he was was always like their son anyways I can't thank them enough for taking care of one of my treasures. My Benjamin.

After Caleb (5lbs 3oz) & Levi (6lbs 3oz) arrived it was much of a blur. All I wanted to is to be left alone with my babies when I arrived in my room after recovery but that didn't happen. I won't go into much detail there but the overwhelming feelings occurred instantly. Awwwwww....what did I get myself into! Why did I want to get pregnant again? Recovery went okay, thanks to my husband for being my assistant in every case. I appreciated my visitors that came and made me feel loved, relaxed and at ease. The willingness of some of my visitors to change my babies when needed or to assist in a feeding showed me so much love they had for my family! When my pastor and wife had come and prayed with me it reminded me God is my strength and remember to lean on the Lord.

My husband had to go to work the last day I "thought" I was going home so my "Sissy" came and stayed with me. She took time away from her family amongst other things to stay with me. Oh, how I owe such a great person! She took care of my babies as I prepared to leave. A couple of crying breakdowns later I had to stay another day. My Aunt Irene and my Sissy tried to comfort me but I just wanted to go home. The nurse left because she was going to cry too. I need to be at home, I needed my Benjamin! One more day and again the hubby had to work. Some of you might be wondering why he worked....well he had been at his new job less than a year w/no vacation/sick time but was granted 3 days in which he spent at the hospital with me already. My sister Carla stayed with me the last day which was shocking since she has 3 animals herself. I needed her that day as I did sissy the day before.

When I finally got home feelings of anxiety, stress, sadness, other feelings like feeling overwhelmed, tiredness, but also happiness set in. I was greatful for my church family that brought me meals for the week or for my visitors who were so understanding of my situation. Many people ask to help but to me it didnt' make sense at first to get help. I slept when the babies slept if I was not pumping and even though it was hard work w/two babies I managed. What I couldn't grasp is the house work, laundry, dinner, or spending quality time w/Ben. I am not happy to admit that when Ben was not in school Cartoons & movies were taking care of Ben. Benjamin can read every channel on our TV guide and knows A LOT of commercials. I mean a lot. I probably had him quote a couple to you because it was funny but embarrassing that he learned them from so much TV.  I feed him but he learned to ask for snacks or drinks when needed. Sometimes I come into the kitchen and it was a complete disaster. Open fridge, peanut butter and jelly and bread crumbles all on the counter, melted Popsicle on the table. I am not happy to admit but for this mom, it's reality.  Did I think I would have my son depend on tv or me not care for him as much as he needed? No I was going to be the most awesome mom anyone has every seen or known!

I had to go back to work for a 1/2 day before resigning in November and although I knew this day was coming I had mixed feelings about it. I worked my whole life since I was 16 yrs old, but on the other hand this was my dream to raise my family. It's the job God gave me and I was going to do it to my fullest right? Taking my job away was like taking apart of who I was. Who am I really now? Just a mom? A housewife? A lazy Loser? I was a little lost, like a identity crisis. I missed my job, everything you see in a law enforcement office is not pretty and not always exciting but I loved it. It was rewarding. Most of all I missed my work family. I am just a "regular" person to them now.

I had to keep telling myself your kids need you more than ever and God put you in this household for a reason. He made every way to confirm this is my place. We have nice home on the "good" side of town with a very nice/low payment, We have no debt besides are house, My son went to the best preschool in our town, and so much more that God did to show me "it's going to be okay, I got this!"

This has been the hardest year of my life, literally!! Being home is hard work. Someone once told me that it would take me about 18 months to adjust and I thought that was a joke. I thought it would be more like 3-6 months. I am still working on adjusting. It's just me at home, I don't have my mom or mother-in-law, friends or nanny all day or everyday.

I don't have my husband all day but my family does get his full attention at night and most weekends when he is not working.  My husband had been my partner through it all. Sure we fought, argued more since they were born. Some days we can only say a few sentences to each after being consumed by kids and exhaustion. Then there are the days we talk, laugh, play and relax together. My husband is not like most though. He is utterly amazing! He does laundry, cooks, cleans and picks up the slack where it's needed. He works and then come homes and does this for his family. He does it he say because he loves us and he knows it is hard work raising a family and he knows I am what is best for the boys. He has no complaints when dinner isn't cooked, ready or even thought of when he gets home. He doesn't ask why the laundry is piling up but when I sneak out of the house he takes care of it. If I am taking care of my boys or running errands the bathrooms are clean. He is the love of my life and no one can replace him. He puts up with me, he understands me but most of all he loves me. Our relationship is not perfect but we are happy to keep growing to better ourselves as a couple.

Would I be a better mom, wife or person if I was still working? Paying for three child cares, formula, diapers etc? Not to mention at a job that I was being Furloughed at. So I would be losing money instead of gaining one cent. But the money is not just it. I would be losing watching my babies' every moments. Their first smile, crawl or laugh. Comforting them when they have been really sick. I would have missed my Benjamin's field trips, his picnics outside or our jog/walks on the trail.

So today I sit here(even though it took me all day to write this slowly but surely right!) feeling absolutely blessed and in tears. Thank you God for bringing me this far and blessing me with this much. The joy in my heart that I feel is overwhelming. The happiness that I have is real! I am happy! I made it this year! All those dirty diapers, all that baby food that was spit at me, all those bite marks on my tummy, or scraping out your babies' mouth for who knows what(I can write a book on what they have put in their mouth or chewed up!), all those cries of the night(prior to the self soothing method) all those scares of the babies being sick or fell to hard was all worth it.  It was worth it because of those times when the boys grab my face to kiss me, when I taught them to use a straw or eat something new. Times when they wave at you, or  follow you from room to room looking for their "mom mom mom mom" When you wake up and see their smiling face sticking there head above the crib rail and that's just the beginning of my joys.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me in the future as a stay at home mom.

So who am I?
My name is Kimberlee Hernandez
Wife to Robert Hernandez for 8 years
Mother to Benjamin, Caleb and Levi

I am a stay at home mother whom completely relies on God for EVERYTHING!
I am happy, content, not perfect but full of failures.
I am loved and in my family is WHERE THE HEART IS.

My heart, my love, my treasures..............................my family!

So if you think my hands are full.....you should see my heart!

The adventures continues because this is where I am suppose to be!