The Grandparents That Shaped Me

At some point in your life you have had that one person you worry about getting that person's acceptance. That person in my life was my grandma as well as my grandpa. Will my grandma scold me today for not visiting in a long time? Or will she embrace me? Will she love my boyfriend soon to be husband or will she tell him to never come back again? Will she be happy for me or mad at me for my decisions I made. In the 94 years my grandma lived on earth she was all of this but most of all embraced us with her love.

As my grandma's funeral nears it brings me sadness but also great joy. She lived for 94 years and she loved the lord with all her heart. I adored that about her.

She and my grandpa were the people I think of that brings joy to my heart.  My grandma and grandpa took care of myself and my siblings for many years until we became latch key kids. My dad and mom whom were divorced worked long hours and plus my mom who had us 98% of the time had to commute to work. She was blessed with great parents that loved their grandchildren as their own. 

Before kindergarten I remember staying with my grandparents all day watching Sesame Street, Price is Right, All my Children, One Life to Live and General Hospital. They got us hooked on the soaps! HaHaHa! They lived in an cottage/Victorian style house which I loved. I also wanted to live in house just like that with a swamp cooler and old windows! My grandparents were funny though they had old toliets with plants in the front yard. It was normal for me though.  Now we didn't watch TV all day but when  my brothers & sister would come home from school and it was cartoon time & playtime with our neighborhood friends. We loved being at my grandparents.

My grandfather had a huge workshop in the back and he would make things and we loved to explore in there. He let us hang out with him and we adored him. He would even let us play hairdresser with the hair he had left.

When I started school my grandpa walked us all to school and when Madison Elementary closed down he walked us to our new bus stop for Alpha Elementary. Right before school my grandma would make us breakfast but we will always remember her best breakfast which were her pancakes. They were amazing!!!!! She would pack us lunch and my sister and I will never forget her egg salad sandwiches. When we got home from school dinner would be cooking for us. She made my sister fried potatoes almost everyday since it was her favorite. It never failed that homemade beans and the best tortillas ever were available too. They were to die for!!!  Grandma knew how to throw it down in the kitchen definitely! Her corn beef & hash or empanadas were yummo! Can't forget when they would get their SSI check and happy meals for us at the beginning of the month. Great times!

They always watched us carefully whether playing in the front or back or riding our bikes. I remember walking through the back alley with my grandmas cart to go to the store with her. Those were fond memories. I used to even pretend to be sleeping when my mom would pick us up so I can stay with my grandma and grandpa over night. After all I had clothes there anyways. I loved it there and every night I'd stay I'd sleep in my grandma's bed and she would put Vick's on her nose and mine. When I smell Vick's I think of her always.

My Nana singing and clapping for my 2nd Birthday

She gave us baths, wiped our butts and spank them!

Oh but she knew how to sew! My grandma even made my brother's cabbage patch "cool" clothes. Which was an outfit of skulls and bones. She made me the best outfits and I remember a time when I wore one of her outfits she made for me for picture day and my mom didn't want to buy the pictures for some reason so my grandma bought them.  They were one of my favorite pictures because I loved my outfit.

Even maybe 6 months before she passed she sewed away. She made amazing blankets which people even ordered from her.  All my babies have blankets she made for them plus extras! She made this beautiful comforter for my cousin and his wife for their wedding gift in which I totally envied!!!

My Aunt, Uncles, Mom, Nana and the first 4 grand kids.

I had the pleasure to actually live with my grandma in my early 20's and she was so good to me even then and kept a watchful eye on me!

I can go on and on about how wonderful my grandparents were. They were wonderful to us and took good care of us. We were their second batch of their kids. I adored both and although I know my grandparents are happy and I will see them again, my heart still aches.

I will never forget both of their humor, it runs in the family! Two weeks ago my grandma was telling my mom to go and get her Mexican bread. I said I will go down the street to go and get it but no she wanted some from a certain bakery!  Such demands grandma, hahaa! I loved it and I would do anything for her!  So I went and stocked up on her favorite breads. She cracks me up, even until the end.

When my grandfather passed in 1995 it was almost a blur. It took me baby steps to realize I wouldn't see him anymore and plus I was a teenager. I grieved more as I got older and more mature. Oh how I miss him especially since he is still the father figure I longed for.

Taylor, Sis, My mom and Nana with me in the front

Now that I am an adult and when my grandmother recently passed the emotions were bittersweet. The relief came knowing she longed to see her king, and her babies she lost years ago. But oh how it hurts us that remain on earth. I have never been as close to someone or seen someone who just passed, like I did with my grandma. It was nice to sit and hold my grandmas hand, kiss her forehead or caress her hair. Just to smell her was soothing. I felt calming peace. I realized and explained to the kids and my son that it was just her shell. Thank you Lord for taking her!

 I am going to miss her smell, seeing her wear her gold earrings and her smile. I am so thankful for my grandma aka Nana and grandpa. They shaped me into the person I am today. They loved me with everything they had. I love and thank them for everything they have done in my life. They were and are still the biggest influences in my life.

She is gone....my Nana is gone. Did I make her proud? Did I show her I loved her enough? Did she know even though I didn't visit as often as I should,  that she was always on my mind? Did she know she made a difference in my life? So many questions but I know she knows I loved her and I know she loved me and was proud of me. She was so happy I was having my twins and she loved that Benjamin was not afraid of her and went to her and played with her every chance he got.

My favorite Picture of my Grandma and I

To you grandma, I dedicate this long blog to you. You know where my heart is and I thank you for molding me into the woman I am today. Till we meet again, Yo te quiero mucho Nana.
.........................Kim-bee